found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
