its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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