Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
