was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
