no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
