Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
