giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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