The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Your topless pictures make me question reality
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
