I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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