that's an acceptable place to lick
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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