I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
