Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
