Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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