I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
