9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
