So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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