Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
