come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I have feelings that need drinking.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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