We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Do vagina's smell?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
