We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
