I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
