im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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