So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
