I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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