wrigley field is MILF paradise
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
