then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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