so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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