Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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