never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
