dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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