there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
