hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Come see our sink grown plant.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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