turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
