I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
