if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
