Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
