well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
