She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Let's get the cat blown out
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
