Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
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