On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
