It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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