hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
