She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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