There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
