were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
ugly people sure do ruin things
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
