DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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