After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
