i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I smell stomach acid.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
