garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Your tits are I can't wait for
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
