Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
