Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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