i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
